Right From the Start: How the body works |
by Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States >> more about the author
Children's development reflects the interrelationship of physical, emotional, social, and intellectual growth.
How the body works:
As children grow, they become increasingly curious about their own and other people's bodies.
Infants discover their hands, turning them this way and that, mouth their fists, and experiment with clasping and unclasping fingers.
Toddlers examine their toes, make faces in the mirror, turn in a circle until they get dizzy and collapse into giggles. Their curiosity and increasing awareness of their bodies give them valuable information and prepare them for important social skills.
Adults need to teach respect for privacy, but also support young natural curiosity. Children are fascinated to learn that the body processes air, water, and nourishment in order to live. They delight in learning that the body has many parts, each is important and each has a name: eye, elbow, spine, and chin, and also penis, scrotum, vulva.
Using euphemisms (privates, “down there”) instead of accurate terminology (vulva, penis), or not mentioning such body parts at all, gives children the message that these parts of the body are unmentionable. They may feel ashamed of having genitals and later in life, many find it difficult to feel comfortable with sexual feelings. Yet every part of the body—from the head to the toes and everything in between—is important.
Key Messages for Children:
• It can feel good to be touched in a gentle, loving or fun way.
• Every part of the body has a name and its own important purpose.
• Boys' and girls' bodies have many of the same parts, and some that are different.
• Boys have a penis, girls have a vulva.
Additional Messages for Older Presschoolers:
• Boys also have a scrotum and testicles.
• Girls also have a clitoris and vagina.
• As children grow older, their bodies grow and change.
“How does my body work?” How Adults Can Help:
- Talk with children about human bodies and how they work.
- Answer questions about differences between a girl's body and a boy's:
To boys: “You have a penis. All boys and men do. Girls and women have a vulva.”
To girls: “You have a vulva. All girls and women do. Boys and men have a penis.”
- Affirm that the body is a good and special thing. “It feels good to be held and touched. Let me give you a hug.”
- Explain gender differences in bathroom procedures: “Girls urinate by sitting on the toilet and the urine comes out through an opening near the vagina. Boys usually first learn to urinate by sitting on the toilet. When they are ready, most boys stand in front of the toilet. They hold their penis and the urine comes out through an opening in the penis.”
- Provide children with anatomically correct dolls to play with; these dolls confirm that in real life, genitals are part of every person's body.
For Older Preschoolers
- Provide correct terminology to children who use other words for the vulva. “The name for the part of the body that is between a girl's legs is the vulva.”
- Provide correct terminology to children who use other words for male genitals. “The name for that part of a boy's body is the penis. The pouch of skin that hangs below a boy's penis is called the scrotum.”
- Answer questions about erections in simple terms: “Sometimes when a boy first wakes up, or at some other time during the day, his penis gets hard. This is normal, doesn't hurt, and soon stops being hard.”
- Explain rules about bodies.
“People wear clothes when they are outside of the house, like in the yard, in the alley, on the play¬ground, at school, or at a friend's home.”
“At home, some families feel it is fine to walk around without clothes on, while other families keep their bodies covered.”
- Read illustrated children's books, which accurately name all of the parts of the body, including the genitals. Illustrations and text should be appropriate to the children's age and stage of development.








